Me too!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize