You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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