this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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