so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
