I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's blow job season.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
