I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
