You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
there is puke in my bra ... again
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
