I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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