Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
