erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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