is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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