you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The uberlube is also flammable
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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