O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
