They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
