this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
