i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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