The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
