sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
