I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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