I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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