Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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