is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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