From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
