I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
