; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
