ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize