Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
