why didn't you poke me back
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish you could order shots online.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize