Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
