She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
