Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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