Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
