physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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