Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
