I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
