I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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