I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
