wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
