I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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