things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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