i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
