is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
