it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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