So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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