we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
