i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize