About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
