what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
