Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
