So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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