it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize