we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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