No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize