Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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