My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
