She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
