I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
