I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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