Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
