...so i touched it.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
