i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
